Being a parent is not always easy and often calls us to question our behaviour. What should we do about the little things? Should we always be strict? Where to draw the line? Today La petite marelle presents the positive approach of a positive parenting.
What is positive parenting?
This alternative current, which has emerged since the 1970s, is free from traditional methods to offer a positive approach to education, placing the well-being of the child at the heart of family issues. The Council of Europe has defined five pillars:
- Emotional education
- Structures and rules of life
- Development of autonomy
- Non-violent education
Are we condemned to reproduce our education?
We note that educational patterns tend to be reproduced between generations. Once we become parents, these unconscious reflexes sometimes lead us to act without questioning our attitude towards children. Among these repeated habits are many reflexes of punishment and severity. La petite marelle reassures you: it is quite possible to detach yourself from this sometimes negative influence, the first step being to become aware of it.
Changing your habits is possible
Harmonizing parent-child relationships through positive parenting requires some habits to be put in place. La petite marelle proposes some actions to be implemented as of today, in order to develop a healthy bond of attachment with her child and to promote his development.
Stop making the child feel guilty
« You annoy me », « I’m annoyed because of you » are commonly used expressions but should be banished because they make the child responsible for our negative emotions. Calmly expressing the reason for our dissatisfaction is always the best solution.
Distinguish the child from his or her actions
« You are infernal », « What an idiot » are all formulations that reflect a negative image of the child and break his or her self-esteem. Make it clear that his actions are to be blamed and always value his efforts.
« If you don’t do this, you won’t be entitled to… » and other blackmail is a form of manipulation that reduces the child’s pleasure and motivation. Why not offer him a simple choice? If he understands the consequences, he will be able to think independently and grow.
Express prohibitions in a positive way
Why not highlight what the child is entitled to do rather than remind them of the prohibitions? Try saying « Try to walk slowly » instead of yelling « Stop running ». In general, communicate what you expect from him, not what you don’t want.
In the face of small sorrows, anger and sorrows, respect the child’s emotions and do not over-simplify their feelings, give importance to their emotions. Avoid it « It’s nothing, you’re not in pain ». When listened to, the child can give himself up and feel respected.
Remind the rules in advance
Remind what is allowed and what is not and try to anticipate that it is not easy for a child to understand that one should not talk in the cinema, or cross alone.
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